I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
