Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
