So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
