His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
