i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
