His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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