How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
