yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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