Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize