last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
