yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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