you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
