She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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