A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
