U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
