i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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