you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
