i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
