I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Houston, we have a blender
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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