i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
