and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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