he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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