Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
