his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
