Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
