I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
