ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
