weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just google imaged poop.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
