No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
