At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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