I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
