In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize