Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
