I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize