Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
