I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
