I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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