whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
