idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
