the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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