found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
