He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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