So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
