Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
