This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
