I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize