rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize