therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
