I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
