it hurts more in the daytime
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize