I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Enjoy the penises
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize