New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
