What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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