Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
