So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
