he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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