guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's like heaven, but drunker
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
